|More on Father and Daughter
Some fathers have a difficult time hearing the real questions our
daughters ask....fathers may even lack answers.
This can't be helped. We will disappoint.
It is always there. We will let our daughters down.
And that makes us feel empty and impotent.
It is hard "to not have an answer."
Yet, fathering enters into those places and he learns to pray...
It is our only comfort.
We go silent (and sometimes these silences are long and great.)
We grieve that...and from this place
prayer arises in the father's heart for his daughter.
For fathers, much communion and fellowship take place in silence...
communication is found in silence.
It takes a keen and sensitive ear to hear the words unspoken.
Sometimes, as fathers, our hearts close for a while.
Life is too much...too hard.
We can feel so overwhelmed.
Maybe staying "open" is not the best thing to do at times...
daughters can learn this from their fathers.
Sometimes, when we walk into a father's home
we sense distance, sadness, and heaviness.
He can be absent in his own home.
Fathers need to be reached for and touched--sought out and loved....
The question is:
will the father (or the daughter)
will the father wait, willing to sweat out the truths.
Fathers bring to their daughters an example of how to be around
hard things. We don't do it very well, at times.
Will you forgive us for where we have been lacking?
In the scriptures, Paul said to Timothy, "Endure hardness
as a good soldier...."
A father will most likely do whatever he has to do to warm the room of your home.
He may not necessarily know how to nurture adequately (or mother you),
or even be emotionally talkative.
But he will show up providing the stuff to live---
food, clothing, and shelter.
It takes a certain hardness to be able to do that.
He needs to be appreciated for that!
At times, some fathers can't even warm the home anymore.
They may be living in the house, but they feel gone.
You have to know....
they feel really bad.
Hopefully, it will only be for a little while.
I say to daughters... you know how hard it is to do the dishes
and clean your room?
What about your dad?
He works hard every day. He may not especially like it, but he finds a way.
That's what you can learn from him...
how to do hard things--when you don't feel like it.
We have some knowledge about death, trickery
and how fragile life is.
Fathers know a form of prayer so well...called
We know the world is not safe.
Every path a child takes looks precarious to the parents' eye.
We need a warrior-like part in us
to arise and help us defend our children...
to fight for them.
Part of the calling of fatherhood is to help our young children
Links from this page:
Father and Daughters, cont.