|Addendum, September 2007
D. H. Lawrence writes about wounds to the soul
that take a long, long time to heal…a difficult repentance.
Some wounds go very deep.
Some get stuck in a depression.
The depression that enters us needs gentle care and love.
Depression offers some wisdom
as we journey through these waters,
if we will embrace it.
Seasons of autumn lead the soul on some long, difficult journeys.
One of the paths leads us to confront a “blind spot.”
When driving a car we all know that certain blind spots exist.
Many accidents happen because of blind spots.
In the realm of soul we tend to keep making
the same mistakes time and again in our lives.
And we don’t learn from them--
we hold onto our idealized point of view.
However, eventually, we begin a descent.
Our souls, having been wounded to such an extent…
maybe because of our foolishness, idealism, ignorance, or stubbornness…
we enter into the season of autumn.
The journey may take years to complete.
The ordeal overwhelms, frustrates, depresses, and weakens us.
The descent trudges on and on relentlessly.
We can’t stop it.
We keep falling.
And if we are fortunate we might begin
to see the error of our way.
The shedding of the old
and the embracing of the new takes time.
It is a long, difficult repentance.
To give you an example…
one of the initiations in life is
learning to live alone and “enjoy the company.”
We tend to rely too much on others,
becoming overly dependent…co-dependent…
in our formative years.
We experience many wounds
because of our imbalance towards dependency
and need people too much!
Usually this stems from an unwillingness
to enter adulthood emotionally.
At some point we begin a downward journey.
We are faced with the fact…we are alone!
We are terrified and run from this idea of accepting our aloneness.
We fight it!
Eventually, we find it is a good and rich place to be,
and accept it…our being alone.
Surprisingly, we don’t feel our loneliness as acutely…
a paradox for sure.
A paradigm shift occurs deeply within us.
Now the center is within us and not in others.
We are changed…a difficult repentance.
I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly,
That I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self
And the wounds to the soul take a long, long time, only time can help,
And patience, and a certain difficult repentance,
Long, difficult repentance, realization of life’s mistake, and the
From the endless repetition of the mistake
Which mankind at large has chosen to sanctify.
D. H. Lawrence